The Past

This week we are on vacation with our family in Florida. Today was the first day of our vacation and I took the boys to Dunkin Donuts this morning for breakfast. On our way back we were waiting at a light and a family with highschool boys crossed the street in front of us. Right after they past one way, a mother pushing a stroller with two little ones walked the other way. I commented to the boys about how the first family was going to be us someday and then I told them that the second lady was where Mommy was a few years ago. It hit me probably for the first time that I had already been through that stage of life and was not going to be there again. (I felt really old!) Kevin who is now 8, responded by saying, "It's like our whole life just walked in front of us!" Wow! I thought that was pretty insightful for an 8 year old boy. I told him it did seem like it and that I had better wake up and enjoy the vacation. (I was feeling a little out of it this morning!) He replied to this, "Wake up because it will soon be the past."

My son is amazing! Yes Kevin, I need to wake up because it will soon be the past. The past has gone by much faster than I ever thought it would. I realized tonight that I have been given 8 years with him already, but that in about 10 years, he will be grown! These 8 years have gone so fast, I cannot imagine only 10 more!

There are many times as a parent that I just want time alone! I just want to do my own thing. (Not a bit selfish, is it?) Tonight I just want my boys to be little boys forever. So Kevin, here is a picture of you on vacation when you were probably 3 and a picture of you right before we left on vacation this year. I love you!

Just delicious!

Today was the first warm day of the year in Indiana. Oh, how I love warm days. My body just aches for them all winter long. My energy level seems to fall and fall until there is a ray of hope when March arrives. Then at the first warm day I have energy again. Today it was 76 degrees!! (Friday it is supposed to snow, but we won't think about that.)
You know that smell in the air when it is springtime? It is clean smelling. Candles and laundry detergents even try and immitate it. It revives you. It inspires you. I was just soaking this all up today and trying to put into words how I felt. It was like a whif from heaven.
Tucker, my youngest son age 3, came home from preschool and conveyed our feelings in the best words possible. He had not tried to write a beautiful description of the day, he just spoke from his heart. First he came in from outside and said, "Mom, it smells like a hotel outside!" Now you must understand, hotels are simply magical for Tucker. They are enchanting. Evidently Tucker has been to some very clean hotels, because some that I have been to have not smelled like today. He was thoroughly enjoying playing outside on his playset when he came back up to tell me, "Today is just delicious!"
Yes, Tucker. Today is "just delicious!"

Where Oh Death is Your Sting?

This past fall I lost my Pap-pa. He passed away quietly into the night. No pain, no agony, just transferred from this world to the next during his sleep. What an incredible way to go! He was the first person really close to me that I have lost. The words that I have repeated over and over in explaining his death, "it just doesn't make sense", have questioned me. He was 82 years old. It should make sense. Everyone dies. Everyone knows that their time will end. Why does it not make sense when it happens? It is unnatural. One day they are here living among us, and the next they are gone. Their body remains for a few days until we return it to the ground, but even that seems so unnatural. We did not see this body created from the ground. Why are we laying it into the cold ground, when yesterday they were living beside me. It is haunting. It is beyond comprehension.

His death has made me so much more inquisitive about Heaven. Before then, I did not really care to learn about Heaven, because that meant death must come first. I believe that I felt that I could not think about Heaven without processing death. Now, I have reason to learn about Heaven. I now personally know someone who is there. It makes learning about Heaven like learning about where a friend has gone on a journey. If my friend moves to Europe, I would want to learn about it and try to understand where they are and what they are experiencing. I have felt the same way about Pap-pa and Heaven. It has changed my faith!

I now realize so much more. I know it is only the tiny tip of the iceberg. I know see that God is restoring us back to what we originally were created to be. We should and do hunger for Heaven, even though we do not know that is what we are hungering for. "The body that is sown is perishable (his life could no longer remain), it is raised IMPERISHABLE (never again to cease-for eternity); it is sown in dishonor (buried in the ground), it is raised in GLORY (I cannot imagine what this will be like! Raised as God intended us to be in the beginning.); it is sown in weakness (His body was becoming weak and aged effected by sin and death.), it is raised in POWER (just as God intended it to be in the beginning-no fear of sin or death); it is sown a natural body (perishable and with limits), it is raised a SPIRITUAL BODY (Who knows what power we will have as a spiritual body! A body such as Christ had after the resurrection.)." 1 Corinth 15:42-44

I understand that death does not seem natural. It doesn't make sense. It was never intended to be the end. It was not the plan. "Oh death where is your sting?" We do feel it now, but only for a time. This sting is not the end. It is only a pain towards the beginning. A pain that will cease.

Family Cruise

In February, Darren and I and all of his family went on a Caribbean Cruise together. Darren and I were not too excited about a cruise, but we were excited about going on vacation with his family. We realized later that this was the first time they had all been on vacation together, ever in their lives. We had an amazing time! There are so many memories that we shared together. We laughed harder than we have in years. We ate delicious new foods. We visited new places, and gathered memories that we will treasure forever. I had drug my feet about going on this trip because I didn't want to spend the money and because we had been away a lot. I would have missed out had I been practical. This was a chance of a lifetime!

Flavor

I have realized what I am missing sometimes in my life is "Flavor". I live in a midwest town that has accepted status quo or a bit below as norm. There is no flavor in the view, no flavor in the food, and no flavor in the thought. Those around me seem to not notice and are just fine with it. Are they thinking what I am? "Why am I here?" My husband says it is a great place to live because it clears the palette to travel. I on the other hand, can only clear my palette for short periods of time. Then I must taste again.